I have so many questions about my mother. Her name was Betty. She committed suicide in 1971 at the age of 36. I was three.
The memory I have is that I couldn't decide who to sleep with that night, Mama or Grandma. So I kept switching from one to the other. My sister says my Daddy called and I went to get my mom to come to the phone. Probably both. When I went to wake her up, she wouldn't. I ran to tell Grandma she won't wake up. Grandma comes to the room and tries to wake up my mom, though looking back, she is quite calm. I remember her saying she is dead. At this point she tells me to stay right there with Mama and then she goes out to the detached garage where my uncle has a room, to get him. I clearly remember thinking that 'this is what dead means?'. I also remember seeing bottles of pills on the bedside stand, but am unclear as to whether that part is really a memory or if I just think that because I later (age 12) learned she overdosed on pills.
The next thing I remember is Aunt Roxie, Donna, and a family friend show up and I am told to stay in grandma's room. Then my Mama was wrapped in an afghan and they were carrying her to the car to take her to the hospital.
I never saw her again.
